Radar wakes Colonel Potter for a phone call from I Corp: there has been a shake up and General Imbrie is replacing Gen. Hammond. Imbrie wants to see all of his COs immediately in Seoul. Major Chuckles has a runny nose so Colonel Potter hands the reigns to his senior surgeon, Captain Pierce. At 0600 the next morning, the new CO muses on why executions are at dawn: who wants to live at 0600 hours? Radar starts pushing paper at the new 4077 CO, Klinger is angling for that elusive Section 8 and the CO just wants to have a drink and nap. The problems mount: Father reports blankets leave 4077 with the wounded but never return, Radar follows Commander Pierce with a clipboard and bunches of forms. Major Chuckles whines, the nurses squabble, Margaret bristles and a surgeon goes off to an aid station to rescue the buddy of Cpl. Hough, a new casualty driven to the 4077. Hawkeye is worried; Commander Pierce is furious. A sudden onslaught of wounded leaves the new CO with 1.5 surgeons. Margaret ... Written by LA-Lawyer

Survivors of last night's 3-day party are barely able to fall in for roll call...most are falling over instead. The peace talks at Panmunjom are not going as well as expected. Only Margaret is happy: she and Donald finally have a date in Tokyo next weekend so they can hold their own marital peace talks. Radar is surprised his spleen is intact when he hands Margaret a telegram from Donald but his office door is a gone pecan. The camp mood is foul: Potter threatens the next person to snap at the Padre and is chagrined when he is that person. Everyone is exhausted. When Colonel Potter announces the Army increased the mandatory rotation points for discharge from 36 to 45, it hits long-time surgeon, Hawkeye, like a pile driver. Then, his pal Margaret announces her bad news; it all combines to send Hawkeye into a red rage. He pulls one of his zany stunts and ends up making the entire 4077 feel brighter. Sub-moronic fruitcake or not, the anti-green peace delegate gets a welcome home he ... Written by LA-Lawyer

Radar gets his nose out of joint when the Head Nurse of the entire 8th Army, Colonel Lillian Rayburn, shows up early at 4077 for her first tour of a M*A*S*H in Korea. The attractive 60-something Colonel Rayburn immediately sparks with Colonel Potter. Lil, as she tells the officers to call her, asks BJ what his initials stand for and he says anything you want. This starts Hawkeye on one of his more inane quests: to learn his BF's one, dark secret. Margaret is all thumbs in OR in front of Col. Rayburn until she has her first talk with Lil; then, she is inspired by Lil and this boosts her esprit de corps about her own Army career. But, Radar is upset at the attention Col. Potter is paying to Lil... even Lil gets her signals mixed. Colonel Potter goes to Radar to request a wake-up call, and they have one of their concise chats. It seems Hawkeye was right, all along... except about the name game. Are BJ Hunnicutt's parents really named Bea and Jay? Written by LA-Lawyer

Newsreels highlight this one-hour special. Minutes mean lives at the M*A*S*H units and reporter, Clete Roberts, has returned to speak again to the 4077 personnel. Everyone is present or in flashback, from Lt. Colonel Henry Blake and Trapper John McIntyre ...even pesky, loveable lug, Major Frank Burns rounds out the current cast as the reporter questions the guys and gals of the 4077. At home, Her Royal Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II, is crowned at age 27, Marilyn Monroe pouts and waves, Joe DiMaggio throws and slugs, Nixon seems to ponder and Albert Einstein and Israeli Prime Minister David Ben-Gurion chat in a garden as the Korean War wages. Pres. Truman (Give 'em hell, Harry!) defends US foreign policy, Nixon does Watergate prequel lite and DDE promises to go to Korea... while GIs from 16 nations are being wounded and dying. The continued battle of war and peace, love and hate that evolves between Hawkeye and Margaret is well illustrated. There is drinking, practical joking, singing,... Written by LA-Lawyer

Sgt. Jerry Neilson, Army Medic, with the 5th Regimental Combat Team, is a very frequent visitor to 4077: Jerry is currently bringing a bus load of casualties from Hill 403. Jerry asks to watch a session of OR; the Boston bugle is pouting about Mass. General Hospital. He throws down the gauntlet before his bunk mates: he goes on a speaking strike. They almost get a rise out of him when Hawkeye accuses his parents of voting for FDR. Another bus full of wounded GIs arrives later in the day and Jerry is on board; unfortunately, Sgt. Neilson is looking at his dog tags while asking Hawkeye and BJ who he is. Col. Potter suggests calling in Major Sidney Freedman (Allan Arbus) to talk with Jerry. Sidney describes Jerry's amnesia as The Billfold Syndrome: one looks at his wallet and ID but cannot place himself. Sidney gently questions the beleaguered medic, Margaret hovers maternally; Sidney wants to place Jerry under hypnosis and have BJ and Hawkeye provide sound effects to help Jerry relive... Written by LA-Lawyer

Abercrombie and Fitch help BJ and Hawkeye cause unrest between the officers in the boiling summer at the 4077; the Swamp Rats receive a box which Chuckles calls canvas Xanadu. Klinger dons a fur coat and woollens and tries to melt his way out of the Army. No one at 4077 can keep a secret, especially with Hawkeye singing and quacking. Radar has a bad case of tonsillitis and with 104* heat, Potter and Hawkeye worry about his temperature. It becomes necessary to immerse Radar in the canvas Xanadu...everyone learns the secret at that point. With the mild Father Mulcahy yelling and waving a toilet brush, the camp is in revolt. Supply Sgt. Clifford Rhoden aka The Scrounger, offers cases of scotch and other goodies for the guys' 63 gallons of civilization. Col. Potter does Radar's surgery personally and he orders the Swamp Rats get rid of the tub. Radar is miserable and hot...he wants strawberry ice cream. Can the guys work a deal with the Scrounger? Will Klinger make it 24 hours or will a... Written by LA-Lawyer

Army I Corp reports a big storm coming from Manchuria; Radar and Col. Potter plot how to batten down the hatches. But the storm grounds the chopper which was to take Boston butt to Seoul for his flight to Tokyo, his first RandR. Radar and Potter bribe Klinger into driving him into Seoul as the tantrums of Boston blow harder than the winds of Manchuria. Radar loses his guinea pig, Babette. The unlikely duo runs across a troop truck of injured Greek GIs; they are lost, but they help the Greeks to safety. Back at the 4077, Margaret feels guilty after Nurse Bigelow, at whom she just yelled, gets into an accident requiring Hawkeye to perform surgery. Boston is too scared to be left alone, so he and Klinger brave the storm in the makeshift shelter with the injured Greeks. The field duo pulls out all the stops to successfully remove a pleural effusion with no light and primitive tools. Too bad they did not have an Atlas. Written by LA-Lawyer

Captain Tom Greenleigh (Greg Mullavey), a reporter from Stars and Stripes visits the 4077 to report the second first-ever open heart surgery. (Hawkeye did the first one in OR, Season 3, Episode 5.) Margaret is irate because Donald has their joint assets frozen. Klinger wants Greenleigh to film him depicting Scarlett O'Hara and Rosa Moline. Major Ego acts like a total ass. Greenleigh has major hots for Margaret; she blocks each of his approaches, saying she hates men. In post-op, Hawkeye finds Major Ego's open heart patient in a bad way and tries to alert him, but Chuckles accuses Hawkeye of jealousy. As the real doctor prepares to save the patient, Major Ego goes from scoffing disbelief to hand wringing. Margaret slams martinis at the Officers' Club with Honey-cutt tending bar. Greenleigh finally picks the right time, place and words to get through to Hotlips. The next morning, Margaret is singing... but Major Ego's hands are still wringing. Will he allow Capt. Greenleigh to ... Written by LA-Lawyer

The weather has hit puberty at the 4077: it is somewhere between 13 and 16 degrees outside. Mummy and Daddy send Chuckles a polar suit. Everyone else is freezing; Hawkeye's patient has such bad hypothermia, Hawkeye believes it might have saved his life, causing his injuries to clot. Chuckles gives Margaret his gloves and then plays indian-giver. Everyone is angry at Radar; he took all of the heaters from the tents and put them in Post Op, as per Colonel Potter's orders. Klinger loses his hearing when the sub-freezing weather causes explosions in the mine fields. The guys put a coffin to good use when they fill it with hot water to warm Hawkeye's patient. It might not be as much fun as watching Sonya Henie, but Col. Potter is never one to shirk his obligations. Written by LA-Lawyer

Private Rich is wounded and evacuated by chopper to the 4077; the entire episode is shot through his eyes. From the 4077 chopper pad, to triage, the O.R. and finally into recovery, Rich gets to meet the M*A*S*H personnel at their very best...and Colonel Potter is in a terrible mood. Radar, B.J. and Klinger carry his litter (Rich is a big fella) and he is brought in for surgery. Everyone, Chuckles included, bickers, banters and takes very good care of Rich. Klinger takes Rich for a wheelchair tour; Rich has a sponge bath from Margaret: he gets the full 4077 treatment. Col. Potter, who received his medical training at Fort Sam Houston, recognizes Rich as a Texan: Potter says a Texan always offers to shake hands, no matter how many tubes are coming out of his arm. Although Rich has a throat injury and cannot speak, he still finds a way to impact the lives of his surgeon, Hawkeye, and Colonel Potter. When his litter is lifted into the bus that will take him to Tokyo, B.J., Hawkeye and ... Written by LA-Lawyer

Chuckles hires a houseboy, Kwang Yong, (Sab Shimono) but no one realizes Kwang is a N. Korean playing grinning lackey to a capitalist fool. It is Kwang's mission to report whether the phenomenal 97% success rate at the 4077 is accurate. A mystery rash covers many casualties at the 4077 and they are miserable. Kwang is baffled at the unmilitary behavior and Klinger's dress. Hawkeye wins a jeep from Supply Sgt. Cimoli in a poker game but ends up with a howitzer; Kwang asks and, jokingly, is told it is a new form of anesthesia. Kwang is amazed at how well the 4077 treats the POWs. Gen. Imbrie's dermatologist, Dr. Nagle, is useless to help the surgeons treat the rash. Kwang sends a report that the 4077 is weak and whiny, complaining about good conditions and munificent rations. The doctors are unable to ease the itching; Kwang is amazed how the doctors have such fine equipment but no knowledge of folk remedies. Kwang boils tree bark and it is very smelly, but it eases the pain of the ... Written by LA-Lawyer

It is frigid cold outside; the 4077 gang are heavily layered and playing Strip Poker in the O Club. Colonel Potter enters with the announcement of a big push from I Corp which will, inevitably lead to several waves of casualties and days of horror. When he makes a stupid remark to Potter, the savvy CO calls out Chuckles. But Zale is no prize, either; he traded most of 4077's stock of sodium pentothal for plasma. So, to anesthesize casualties, 4077 must use ether and nitrous oxide; ether is flammable and the OR cannot use their heaters. Poor Radar: he calls everywhere, looking for sodium pentathol and ends up training rookies. The ether knocks Margaret off her feet; Father Mulcahy feels terrible. He offers to deal with the local black market to get some SP; Father asks Chuckles to donate food and a case of wine to the SP endeavor, but Chuckles insists on being present to supervise the exchange. They finally get the SP, but Father tells Potter although Chuckles was a blessing out ... Written by LA-Lawyer

The O Club just celebrated its one year anniversary...and now, it must be rebuilt. The guys are so hung over, they seem to be hunting loose change on the ground. Margaret is jubilant: her half of the marital funds have been unfrozen. Father Mulcahy is not happy; he was passed over again for promotion. Margaret starts a fun food fight with Hawkeye. A helicopter makes an emergency landing; Capt. Toby Hill, the Army hero, impresses Margaret with his flying. Chuckles stirs the pot, inciting Margaret to retaliate toward Hawkeye and BJ and vice versa. Father Mulcahy learns Capt. Hill was promoted from 2d Louie to Captain in 6 months and he is rightfully miffed. The pranking, all orchestrated by Chuckles, is getting out of hand. Capt. Hill gets an emergency call to retrieve one casualty from Hill 503. Since Chuckles' last prank put Little Mac, Capt. Hill's helicopter counterweight, out of commission, Father Mulcahy bravely offers to fly with Capt. Hill and the wounded GI. The pranking has ... Written by LA-Lawyer

Christmas is coming; this time, Father Mulcahy is the one writing home to his sister the Sister. Francis feels like he is not doing enough. As he collects money to buy toys and candy for the orphans at St. Theresa's, Chuckles rebuffs Father horribly. Radar asks Father to bless the O'Reilly's pregnant cow, Edna. Klinger is blue, he misses Packo's hot dogs, Toledo and Laverne; Margaret is blue: she was married to a skunk. Father has to punch Lt. Forrester to keep him still when he tangles with Margaret in triage; Father is devastated when the officer gets nasty with him. Francis tells Hawkeye he feels like he hangs around on the edge of effectiveness. The Christmas blues infect all of the officers and Col. Potter says: If you ain't where you are, you're no place. BJ plays Santa; eggnog and gifts flow in the mess tent. For once, Chuckles is near tears and his eyes are aglow: Father saves him by a simple act of kindness. The gang sings Dona Nobis Pacem as casualties arrive. Francis ... Written by LA-Lawyer

BJ really misses Peggy and baby, Erin; he takes solace in helping the family of Su Sing, the gentleman who sells vegetables to the 4077 mess. His daughter, Kim, is eager for BJ to treat her very sick father. Brigadier General Marion Prescott, (Dick O'Neill) visits the 4077 to have his foot injury iced and wrapped and ends up breaking his wrist trying to use crutches. Su Sing has pneumonia; BJ has to take care Mrs. Sing does not sell his medicine for food. BJ gets wrapped up in helping find the family's lost son, Cho-Duk, who was drafted into the ROK, and in thatching their roof. Kim and her little brother tug at BJ's heart by crying and begging him to stay. Hawkeye is worried about his friend, but BJ says he wants to help the Sings. After a session in OR with lots of civilian shelling, BJ is concerned about his little Korean family. Radar comes through: he found Cho-Duk and finangled a transfer to a nearby unit for Cho-Duk through Brig. Gen. Prescott. But when Hawkeye drives his ... Written by LA-Lawyer

He is the love call of evolution, he is sex and life and appetite...or so Hawkeye likes to think. The Swedish delegation sends Dr. Inga Halvorsen (Mariette Hartley) to the 4077 and Hawkeye immediately tries to hit on her; Inga wants to talk medicine. The next day in OR, Inga shows Hawkeye a new procedure to preserve mobility in the hip. Hawkeye is miffed when Inga is the main attraction. Margaret dresses him down, claiming Hawkeye cannot relate to strong, capable women as people but only sex objects. Her manner and words belie all of the feelings she has for Hawkeye. Chuckles insists Hawkeye is upset at the thought of learning from a woman, but when Inga corrects Chuckles in Post Op, Chuckles flies into a rage. When Inga is the one to initiate sex with Hawkeye, he is off put and says something insulting. BJ talks about his marriage with Peg as a partnership and even Col. Potter tries to help Hawkeye find cohesion in his thought process. Why do men make it so hard to be who we are? ... Written by LA-Lawyer

When Cho Pak and his daughter, Sun, pick up the Colonel's laundry, Potter wants to do a physical on the ancient cavalry man, but Cho Pak refuses. Klinger tries to bribe Col. Potter into giving him a Section 8. A 16 year old Korean teenager, Ham, is on the run from the ROK; he is discovered in Hotlip's shower; this time, her bath towel is green. The Swamp Rats hide Ham; they approach Hairy Mary (Klinger), for a cute dress to disguise him. Col. Potter and Radar are frantic: Sophie is missing; her saddle is left in the empty paddock. ROK officers storm The Swamp looking for deserters. The next day, Sophie appears, ridden by Cho Pak, who is resplendent, if not ashen, in his old cavalry uniform. Ham tells the surgeons his grandfather used to tell him stories of the famous Korean Army Field Colonel, Cho Pak, the war hero who saved their village. There is conversation between Potter and Sun; afterwards, the two war heroes solemnly and respectfully bow to one other. Radar tells Col. Potter,... Written by LA-Lawyer

Hawkeye is beat, but Colonel Honey wakes him in Post Op and asks him to attend a lecture from a physician at Tokyo General. Potter is tired and limping; his phlebitis is flaring. Klinger is dressing and acting like he is in Toledo...crazier than his usual self. Young Captain Ralph Simmons is animated; he extols the benefits of the pericardiocentisis with procaine, a cutting-edge heart procedure. Chuckles is vocal in his outrage and claims this procedure will cause ventricular fibrillation. The Swamp Rats and Radar force Colonel Potter to go to bed and rest his leg...since Capt. Simmons is there, Potter can rest with no worries. Suddenly, the doctors have come down with Simmonsitis, as Hawkeye calls it, one doctor turns into a drunk, one into a bookworm and one is inclined to take to his bed. In the O.R., Margaret assures Simmons he is young, intelligent and right. In the battle of the egos, this threesome makes some people crazy ... and not just the Toledo Kid! Written by LA-Lawyer

Margaret receives her final divorce decree after the latest Officers' Staff Meeting. The Colonel is preoccupied with problems in triage, especially speed issues. A cute, new nurse, Lt. Linda Nugent, steps out of a jeep and into Radar's heart. Margaret is out of sorts in OR, so BJ and Hawkeye plan to take her out to the O Club; they get snockered. Margaret has an epiphany and visits the CO's tent; sleepily, he tells her to do whatever she sees fit. Radar asks for love advice from Hawkeye and Chuckles; finally, he wins the day by being himself. The next morning, Margaret tells BJ, Hawkeye and Col. Potter her idea: her nurses will handle the triage, freeing all surgeons for the OR. Chuckles already offered to teach her nurses to diagnose and prioritize and General Lyle Weiskopf, Chief of Staff, is coming to 4077 in three days to observe. But, it becomes obvious the two star pain in the ass, (as Potter calls him) is more interested in Margaret than her triage program. Weiskopf arrives ... Written by LA-Lawyer

From the Post Op, it sounds like the 4077 is caught in a cross-fire of 105s (cannons). An idiot at I Corp refuses to move the fighting because the Signal Operating Instructions (SOI) manual Col. Potter is using was superseded; Potter cannot correctly respond to Victor Zulu. So, Col. Potter orders everyone to evacuate to an abandoned cave, 1/2 mile away, which the Koreans once used as an aid station. Hawkeye is uncharacteristically opposed to the new idea and it becomes apparent he suffers from fear of small spaces: claustrophobia. He ventures inside, but he cannot stay for long. Klinger is the blood bank for Pvt. Lovett; he tells Lovett that he (Klinger), Chuckles and Father Mulcahy all have the same blood type: one is bluer and one is purer, than his own. Margaret confesses her worst fear: loud noises. Private Lovett needs surgery that cannot be done in the cave, so Hawkeye and Margaret bring him back to the 4077 OR, where Hawkeye tries to distract his nurse from hysteria with a ... Written by LA-Lawyer

The 4077's favorite undercover Section 8, Colonel Sam Flagg (Edward Winter) makes one of his counterintelligence visits. The episode starts with a game of bridge; Hawkeye is not as adept a bidder as he is a surgeon. Hawkeye treats a wounded North Korean officer before he treats an American GI because the enemy was almost dead. Col. Flagg appears in Potter' office, indignant when Col. Potter readily admits an enemy officer is recuperating in Post Op: did Flagg work over an informant just for fun? Radar swears they reported it; Flagg has written authorization to speak to Hawkeye and the enemy officer. His talk with Hawkeye goes queerly. Col. Flagg is Technicolor tripping: Hawkeye operated on a yellow Red before a white American, which is pretty pinko. BJ thinks Hawkeye is much too hot-headed when he yells at a crazed patient, but BJ learns to walk in his pal's boots when that same patient tries to clobber Hawkeye. Chuckles did not agree with Hawkeye over the original triage order so... Written by LA-Lawyer

BJ is appalled when his patient has entry wounds entering his body from 3 different directions. Col. Potter reminds him of Lt. Col. Lacy, 163rd Combat Infantry, the CO with the highest casualty rate of any single battalion in the sector. Apparently, Lacy refused to obey an order to retreat and subjected his men to hell. Poor Klinger: he has tried chicanery, malingering and endless flim-flammery, but now, Klinger is pulling out the heavy artillery, voodoo, to get his Section 8. Lacy visits the Post Op and one of his own men, Corporal North, turns away. Margaret is intrigued with the virile Lacy until she lunches with him and Lacy tells Margaret of his latest plan to take Hill 403. His plan is based on a plan used in the WWII Battle of Monte Casino...and it has a 20-30% casualty rate. Margaret understands this translates to 100 men and she leaves the table, sick. BJ and Hawkeye despise Lacy and his hypocracy; he thrives on his war games. Potter writes an unprecedented letter to I Corp ... Written by LA-Lawyer

August 9: Hawkeye changes wars; now, it is The War Between the States and the tired surgeon wants to secede from the Army. He goes to Rosie's for breakfast after 2 full days in surgery. Sgt. Jack Scully (Joshua Bryant) enters, AWOL, he avows never to return to the fighting. This strikes a chord in Hawkeye. BJ is sucked into the cozy bamboo security blanket. As the trio drinks and sings, BJ mentions secession and a new, sovereign country is formed: Rosieland. The motto is life, liberty and the pursuit of happy hour. Klinger enters: Col. Potter is looking for his runaways, but Klinger brought knee pads for the duration of the Wang Ho crap games. The 4077 trickles into Rosieland; a few salute their new flag. Father Mulcahy enters, at mid-debauch, to ask BJ to return to 4077. Chuckles is the first POW, gagged and hog-tied to a chair. Soon, Fr. Mulcahy is shooting craps with Klinger and Cho Kim (Keye Luke). Radar is trying to wake the unconscious Maj. Frank Dorsett. Scully romances ... Written by LA-Lawyer

The Swamp Rats are so exhausted, BJ is obsessing over the quality of his kidney surgery and Hawkeye is climbing the furniture. Chuckles deserts Beethoven for Rosie's. Klinger meets Lt. Deborah Clark of the 8063rd; Debbie says it could be love...and Max believes her. Chuckles meets a lady of the night, Sooni. The kidney operation and teeth cleaning cause The Swamp Rats to regress, hissing and scrapping until Hawkeye moves to Radar's bunk. Man of the War, Chuckles, thinks he is Pygmalion while Klinger confused by Debbie--Max did not know she was just a good time. It is Stormy Weather for the blood brothers (Klinger and Chuckles) but an early morning phone call from Dr. Cohen in Taegu makes life fun and exciting for the scintillating surgeons of The Swamp. Written by LA-Lawyer

BJ has a light bulb after a long session in OR while he, Col. Potter and Radar talk about jam recipes: a reunion for the 4077 families back home. An emergency bug-out depresses BJ; his patient's back was injured in the move and his friends seem indifferent to the reunion. Hawkeye blasts the crew and forces them to write to their loved ones. During a second bug-out, the gang read their mail and learn how excited their families are about the reunion. The 121st Evac calls: Dr. Monroe operated on BJ's patient and his spinal injury will heal. The crew haggles over a date: March 21, and their loved ones shall converge upon Manhattan and The Pierre Hotel. Letters pour in after the party; Radar reads Peg's aloud in the OR. The hugs, tears, kisses and love span the globe, wrapping the 4077 in a happy glow. Written by LA-Lawyer

The 4077th Mobile Army Surgical Hospital is stuck in the middle of the Korean War. With little help from the circumstances, in which they find themselves, they are forced to make their own fun. Fond of practical jokes and revenge, the doctors, nurses, administrators, and soldiers often find ways of making wartime life bearable. Nevertheless, the war goes on. Written by Murray Chapman muzzle@cs.uq.oz.au