Mr. Drysdale tries to get Jed to buy a yacht and join the yacht club. As usual, a misunderstanding takes place, and the Navy gets involved.

Granny confuses Mrs. Drysdale's forays into astrology with the practice of black magic. An intended gift for Ellie Mae from Mr. Drysdale only adds to the confusion.

After an oil deal is brokered between a middle eastern sheikh, Mr. Brewster of OK Oil Company and Jed Clampett, the sheikh shows his gratitude by giving Jed a harem of four dancing girls. After being told that Jed can't accept, the sheikh, having fallen for Elly Mae, tries to broker a trade for her. Written by Jim Schuck

Jethro, hearing that Double-Naught Seven is in the West Indies (a reference to the James Bond movie Thunderball, though this isn't specifically mentioned), wants to drive there to meet his hero and become a spy. Jed, knowing that Jethro is going through another phase, suggests he set up a Double Naught office in Beverly Hills. Milburn Drysdale, anxious to keep the Clampetts happy, makes an office available in his bank. Jethro has some trouble with his Double Naught devices: a blade that is supposed to come out of his shoe is put in backwards; a one-way mirror is put in the wrong way; tear gas is injected inside his gas mask. Meanwhile, a bank robber, who previously arranged to rent the office to rob Drysdale's bank, sees a chance to take advantage of Jethro's enthusiasm for spying. The robber poses as the head of British Intelligence, says Jethro is doing a good job but the office needs an escape hatch. Given the office is above the bank's vault, such a hatch would make it ... Written by Bill Koenig

The Clampetts can't understand why there's nothing in the news about Possum Day in Beverly Hills. When Mr. Drysdale finds out the Clampetts want to go back home because of this, he takes it upon himself to organize one. Granny wants to run for the title of Possum Queen, and needs an opponent to run against, so Mr. Drysdale volunteers his wife as her challenger. Naturally, he can't tell his wife what he's doing. Written by Dionysius Exiguus

Granny wonders why Mrs. Drysdale hasn't started her campaign for Possum Queen. Unbeknownst to Mrs. Drysdale, Mr. Drysdale has plastered her limousine with Margaret Drysdale for Possum Queen posters. Will Mrs. Drysdale beat Granny? Written by Mark Podmore

Jethro falls in love with Mr. Drysdale's maid, who only loves to watch the Clampetts' big color television set, especially Los Angeles Rams football games. Figuring she'd like Jethro more if he were a football player, Jed buys them all football uniforms, and hilarity ensues. Written by Carmen McLaren

The Clampetts are determined to find a man for Elly Mae. Granny reaches into her bag of tricks to come up with a love potion. Mr. Drysdale offers to find one for her, and he does, at a male escort service. Calamity ensues when they converge on the Clampett mansion and Granny thinks her spell has backfired. Written by Dionysius Exiguus

When the Clampetts hear they have a new neighbor, they mistakenly take the rich woman's cleaning woman for her. Mr. Drysdale, not realizing the mistake, hopes they will get married. Granny, of course, is always interested in getting Jed hitched. Written by Dionysius Exiguus

Mr. Drysdale wants to land the account of Lucas Sebastian, an overweight billionaire who's on a strict diet. The banker introduces him to Jed who misunderstands, believing he's penniless and hasn't eaten in days. Jethro experiments in the kitchen. Written by rharlan58

Hoping that a party will help Jethro and Elly Mae meet people their own age, the Clampetts want to hold an old fashioned hoedown. Ms. Hathaway offers to help with providing the music, but she hires a modern rock band to provide the music instead of the expected country music group. Confused at first, they manage to adapt. Written by Dionysius Exiguus

Mr. Farquar, Mrs. Drysdale's father comes for a visit. When he's alone with Drysdale, he reveals he's broke. It seems on his way over, he passed through Las Vegas and lost his whole fortune and is asking Drysdale for a handout, which he refuses. He later learns of the Clampetts, he goes there hoping to get some of their money so he can go back to Las Vegas. Written by rcs0411@yahoo.com

Mrs. Drysdale's is appalled that her father continues to spend time with Granny. He's hoping that Granny will stake him on his next gambling trip to Las Vegas. Granny mistakes his intentions and thinks he's interested in proposing marriage to her. Written by Dionysius Exiguus

Jethro decides he wants to be a 5-star General in the Army. He wants to go to West Point, but Mr. Drysdale convinces him to apply to a local military school. The school normally only accepts boys, but the Commandant soon realizes the Clampett estate is adjacent to the upcoming war game site, which might give his cadets a decisive advantage. Written by Dionysius Exiguus

When Mr. Drysdale is unhappy with Dr. Clyburn's treatment of his cold the Clampetts hear about it. Granny decides it's time to set up practice and enlists the rest of her family to help. She also claims a cure for the common cold.

The world's richest woman wants to buy the Clampett mansion and will stop at nothing to get it. Will Jed finally sell?

Granny wants to learn to drive the truck but can't get used to modern day contraptions. A horse is more of what she wants and Mr. Drysdale gets her one, a professional race horse.

Granny buys a horse and buggy for Mrs. Drysdale so that they can have buggy races, but she gets her an old broken-down mare and names it Lightnin'. Jed tries to teach Granny a lesson by switching horses with Granny's champion harness racer, Ladybelle. Mrs. Drysdale agrees to race when Mr. Drysdale promises her that the Clampetts will leave Beverly Hills if she wins. Granny uses her tonic to put some life back into Lightnin' before the race. Written by efmartin

There's a cat burglar in Beverly Hills and Elly Mae is determined to keep her kitties safe, so she sets traps for the thief while Jethro decides to play private eye. When the cat burglar shows up at the Clampett's residence posing as a detective, typical hi-jinks ensue. Written by bossboy31

Granny encounters an ostrich at the Drysdales and believe it's a giant chicken. She decides it got into her medicinal tonic and that's why it's so big. She tries to apply the idea to her vegetables.

Sonny, Mrs. Drysdale's no good, spoiled offspring, comes home from college where he's still a sophomore in his 19th year. Mr. Drysdale decides it's time for him to settle down and get a job. Milburn gets him one as a door-to-door cosmetics salesman where maybe he'll find a wife in Elly May Clampett. Written by Dionysius Exiguus

Granny plans to go back home to deliver a baby. Mr. Drysdale, worried the Clampetts will go home and not come back, concocts a scheme that Granny has to stay to help Mrs. Brewster with her pregnancy; however, Mrs. Brewster isn't pregnant. Jethro decides to bring home some of the girls from the Kit Kat Club. Written by Dionysius Exiguus

A shady magician sells his wares to the gullible Jethro.

Granny has decided it's time for spring cleaning, which taxes her as well as the rest of the family. Jed tells her that the mansion is too big for her to take care of, which to Granny is a subtle way of being told she needs to go to the old folks home. She decides to go back home to the hills, which also means taking her share of the money, something Mr. Drysdale will do anything to prevent. Written by Dionysius Exiguus

Musicians Flatt and Scruggs, old friends of the Clampetts, visit with their glamorous wives. Banjo music is performed, Gladys sings a song and Granny teaches her to cook. Jethro adapts the truck to avoid traffic.

Jethro is bent on becoming an astronaut but gets sidetracked into teaming up with Miss Jane to become a folk singer. Along the way Jethro invents a new musical device he dubs the Bodine o' phone.

Ulla Bergstrom, a Swedish actress who's under contract at the studio, hasn't done any work because there's no role for someone who is Swedish. Drysdale decides to send her back to Sweden until he meets her when Chapman brings her to him. There's a role that requires her to speak as a backwoods character. Miss Hathaway suggests that they let her stay with the Clampetts so that she can pick it up. At the same time, Jethro, who appears to be running wild and not doing his chores, is put on a leash by Granny. He plans to leave home until he meets Ulla. Written by rcs0411@yahoo.com

Jethro becomes a Hugh Hefner wannabe when he discovers some Playpen magazines in Mr. Drysdale's garage.

Granny remains eager to get Elly to the altar and decides Professor Biddle, Miss Jane's friend, will do. Mr. Drysdale blackmails Dash into asking the Clampett lass for a date. The meek birdwatcher and the handsome actor are soon at odds.

Jethro is in love again and decides to get a job as an actor. Taking the name Beef Jerky, he finds himself Dash's stunt double and has a rough time at the studio. Jethro's girl Debbie only want a screen test and plays up to Jed.

Granny brews a batch of her tonic hoping it helps Elly get a husband. Jane with Mr. Biddle are trying to hatch a condor egg but a sip of the potion changes the birdwatcher's focus and the Clampetts need to get him out of a tree.

Jethro decides it's time for him to go to college so that he can become a vice president at Mr. Drydale's bank. Only a desperate school would take a student with just a 6th grade education, and Jethro finds one. Elly May decides to go to one herself but has no idea what kind of school she's enrolled in. Written by Dionysius Exiguus