When Charlie's satellite dish is stuck, he would just have called the guy on Monday, but Alan insists to fix it himself- and then falls, incurring a painful series of neck - and other injuries. Charlie insists to take Jake anyhow, who has a better sense of humor, but finds the kid masters the art of nagging like a wife, which ends Uncle up driving trough L.A. all the way to the black ghetto Watts for a Clucky's chicken dinner and to the video store for a specific game, and yet the foxy customer who flirted with him gets scared away. Alan is pretty much left alone, suffering countless pains and utter embarrassment... Written by KGF Vissers

Alan is physically crushed by an overweight black patient who went trough his back because of too many tranquilizer pills and collapsed like a mountain chain when Judith calls to pick up Jake from school, so he phones Charlie, who doesn't pick up: he would have to leave a lover in bed. Repentant this forces Alan to cancel a working day to see Jake's principal about an 'intolerable' drawing of well-endowed female classmate Barbara Charlie rather fancies, Charlie offers to help out, grudgingly finding that means answering the practice phone all day, and first getting up at seven to face traffic at 10 miles an hour. Charlie follows legally binding instructions not to touch any patients, but hires a sexy masseuse, who soon has men lining up for non-medical 'therapy'. At Jake's school, Alan manages to antagonize Barbara's equally well-endowed mother, only to find the principal has the rack of all terrace builders records. Written by KGF Vissers

Charlie discovers he isn't presented to Alan's girlfriends because there is only his wicked ex Judith, with whom he pretends (when near Jake) to still be fighting with. Evelyn, Rose and Bertha join Charlie (who don't want Jake to leave) in the don't-chorus, in vain. Charlie even arranges a sexy alternative, but Alan insists. He's nearly drowned in the hot-tub, and after a single turn in bed soon ends up even more miserable and cleaned-out. Written by KGF Vissers

Saying her brother Philip is trying detox at her place, maid Berta gets Alan's permission to stay at the Harper brothers' beach-house, and immediately commandeers his room, so dad has to bunk with Jake. Charlie who wasn't consulted at all is even less amused then by his hang-over, so he points out to presumptuous Alan he doesn't charge any rent only to remain sole master in his home, which hits the permanent guest since two years as a cold shower. Having overheard their fraternal row, Berta immediately starts stirring on purpose, telling Alan he deserves a warmer welcome and a better life while encouraging Charlie to demand more respect, hoping to become his live-in house keeper. When Alan threatens to move out, Jake wants to stay as he isn't persona non grata while mother Evelyn, not invited by Charlie either, points out as real estate professional his budget after alimony can barely afford a camping site. Charlie reassures depressed Jake he won't have to move out. Alan bluffs till ... Written by KGF Vissers

Charlie's conquest Colleen wishes him dead for not reciprocating her declaration of love. Alan calls him a misogynist for implicitly counseling Jake not to commit to his bed-partners. Charlie discusses his attitude to women with Rose, who suggests the psychological root cause is his mother. Worse still, this doubt affects his sex-life, so he's ripe to consult mother and try hypnotherapy from Rose. Written by KGF Vissers

After Charlie's Gothic latest bed-partner Isabella gets him drunk and hands him over to her Satanist coven, both brothers are scared by sudden and unexpected physical afflictions. After Bertha meets Isabella and flees, the Harpers fear her spell and try to rescue Jake too. Salvation comes from someone proven even scarier. Written by KGF Vissers

Charlie wakes up drunk with stalker Rose in his bed, presuming they 'did it' a second time in two years. Alan is all but helpful when Charlie, whose fears Rose's revenge is shared by Bertha, gets a surprise visitor: Rose's super-rich dad Harvey. So Charlie is relieved when normally unwelcome mother Evelyn hits it off romantically with Harvey and takes him away. A few days later, she turns to her boys for help against the 'live-in' stalker, and gets it from another relative. Written by KGF Vissers

When Mia shows total disdain for Charlie's overtures, Alan believes he's finally out of his depth, but Charlie couldn't resist the challenge. He deduces she's a dancer, works out where she teaches a kids ballet class and bribes Jake to join so he can bring the boy. Actually once there Jake falls for Mia, which is the one problem even Charlie's charm can't overcome once Mia accepts a date with him. Written by KGF Vissers

Charlie and his extremely rich neighbor, Norma, behave as enemies. Alan, on the other hand, who scorns that his brother's latest willing conquest's IQ is even lower then her age, but treats Norma as a gentleman, wins her favor and enjoys her generosity, despite the lack of romantic interest on his part. In Charlie's analysis he becomes an expensive male gigolo -a comment without any judgment intended- by considering letting her name an alternative therapy center after him. Although it is to be built in Beverly Hills this goes wrong in an unexpected way. Written by KGF Vissers

When neither Charlie nor their mother commends Allan for being named in the local rag as a 'good doctor', he gets drunk. Despite a humongous hangover Alan's resolution is that he will no longer bend over backwards to please women. Charlie attempts to coach him on male self-confidence. Written by KGF Vissers

When Alan's girlfriend Sandy shows she's not only pretty but also domestic, Charlie warns him she's a 'nester', but he can't resist her cooking either. At Christmas, elaborate decoration by Sandy confirms Charlie's fear, and the worst is yet to come as she focuses her attentions to the minute detail of her efforts and turns dictatorial. The Christmas dinner has many irresistible courses and a long aftertaste. Written by KGF Vissers

Charlie tells the psychiatrist how it felt when Jake's normal eagerness to have a sleep-over with a friend pushed Alan to the usual whining and an atypical outburst in the movie theater. Next Alan drags Charlie back to where Jake went, so the friend's mother tricks them into 'baby-sitting' a whole band of brats for three hours. By the time Alan calms down, Charlie literally dumps him, then picks him up and uses girls' sympathy to 'score'. However this is sabotaged by Alan's 'common sense'. But why did Charlie want therapy? Written by KGF Vissers

Charlie has to decide whether he can really commit to a serious relationship with Mia, especially when sex is currently off the agenda. Unsurprisingly, his suggestion that he sleep with other women in the meantime falls on somewhat stony ground. Written by Steve Green

Charlie has committed to Mia, and after two months they're finally ready for 'consummation' of their mature relationship in the sack. Just then Kandi turns up, and drifts to Alan as Charlie is now off-bounds. Everything seems to go wrong whenever Charlie comes close to the coveted carnal deed. Written by KGF Vissers

Forced to hide in his garage to enjoy a brace of beers and half a Cuban cigar, Charlie's attempts to keep his unhealthy lifestyle habits secret from Mia fall apart when she smells bacon on his breath, resulting in their first major argument since taking their relationship to a physical plane. Written by Steve Green

As Jake's twelfth birthday approaches, Alan is still smiling ear-to-ear over his sex life with 22 year-old hottie Kandi, even when he's forced to explain to his son what a booty call is. Meanwhile, Jake celebrates with a sip of coffee and a handful of vitamins - or at least, that's what he assumes the blue pills in his dad's bathroom cabinet are, with the V imprinted. Like Berta says, he's going to need another party hat. Written by Steve Green

At Alan's insistence and to avoid having to escort the daughter of one of ma's clients (she invited that), Charlie attends with Alan, ma and Jake the jingle awards ceremony, where he's nominated and just knows Archie Baldwin will win for the seventh year in a row, because that pompous ass always gets the sexy products, a good tune for medication like Charlie's clients is never good enough to get a fair chance. He's right, and was forced by Rose -who will otherwise stalk him again- to make her adoring teenage boyfriend Gordon give her some private space again; when that works, she changes her mind... Written by KGF Vissers

Alan finally has an attractive date, 22 year-old Kandi, but she's even dumber then Jake, and as Charlie rightly points out girls that age are extremely high maintenance. Charlie has his fun seeing Alan struggle with the growing pile of bills, driving him to raid Jake's mammoth piggy bank and taking a second job as pizza deliverer, but still helps his double-plucked brother when wicked ex Judith insists on alimony. Alas Kandi... Written by KGF Vissers

The Harpers's world is inverted: Charlie's ex Kandi, of his countless girls about the dumbest, not only became Alan's lover but even says she prefers sex with him, and has been living in Charlie's beach-house, as unnoticed as several furniture changes, for three weeks since she was evicted. Charlie has suffered a sexual drought even longer, by now even Berta and her cousin in prison begin to look somehow attractive. Judith finds out, and is shocked Jake is exposed to such a floozy; despite his brother's warning to keep love and business apart, Alan tries her as secretary in his surgery, with even more and worse results then either could fear... Written by KGF Vissers

Alan is made to admit to Charlie, who keeps hitting it in, he has hit rock-bottom now his brainless girlfriend Kandi has moved in with his ex. It's all so confusing that Jake would prefer dad's ladies to be lesbians, then tells him Kandi's ma Mandi has joined Charlie's endless list of sexual conquests. Alan can't talk to Kandi, she just repeats Judith's phrases, clearly without understanding the words, but he sees her dad, Mandi's ex Andy, arrive on blind date with his own ex Judith. Frolicking finale at Judith's, in rooms, bed and hot-tub... Written by KGF Vissers

Jake's teacher tells his rioting parents his grades are hopeless, but at least he could get into some extracurricular activities, so they agree he'll audition to join the school's drama club's musical-cast. After Alan proposed a Gilbert and Sulivan monologue and Jake a pornographic rap, Charlie has the boy choose classic rock, but even by his standard Queens for piano and tonelessly howling treble just isn't the same. Charlie is proud when he hears Kandi's stupidity finally drove Alan to cheat on her, disappointed to hear it's only talking to Jake's teacher Francine, no sex, so when he's expected to lie fraternally he does more: Kandi is made to expect a diamond necklace, Francine to believe he's a hero in selfless charity... Written by KGF Vissers

Jake has his first boys-girls party, dating a smart girl, Wendy Cho. Alan was looking forward to coaching his son, but even Jake, who spends his schooldays watching the clock tick, isn't dumb enough to consider dating advice from the worst womanizer in L.A., while Charlie proves he can coach a virtually hopeless case -Alan and Judith's genes without the IQ- trough appearance, dance and anything else. In fact Alan envies Jake so much, he still hopes for ... Written by KGF Vissers

When the Harper brothers learn from Jake about a call -a week late, like his teacher's request for a meeting last week- that Charlie's ex girlfriend Mia, the one who could have become serious and still gets him extremely excited, left four tickets for her ballet company, the womanizer assures Alan an ex only calls to boast her current man is better or to cheat on him and/or pump you for money. However when they still go, she only asks for his sperm, promising to raise the kid alone. Despite Alan's reservations, Charlie signs away his paternity rights, but his swimmers seem unusually reluctant, in fact... Written by KGF Vissers

Charlie tells indifferent Jake and incredulous Alan he's about to marry Mia, although for him twenty years of marriage is worse the death. Then crazy Rose reports Gordon just dumped her. Mia preferred the traditional ceremony to Charlie's original ideas, until Alan and his wedding planner's list (a fat folder) turn her off. Visiting Mia's family scares even ma Evelyn Harper. Then Rose starts stalking Mia, in wedding gown; they decide to cut the guest-list, or even better: elope to Los Vegas, to Alan's disappointment. At the altar, Charlie realizes his bride expects Alan and Jake to move out: it's off. Meanwhile Alan and Kandi... Written by KGF Vissers