In order to write an expose on how cheerleading demeans women, a reporter for a college newspaper infiltrates the cheerleading squad.

"You've never seen anything til you've seen the Sun through the rings of Saturn," exclaims Alex Rebar. Apparently, somehow this causes him to start melting and eating people, such as a nurse in the tightest fitting nurse's outfit ever, a nerdy fisherman, a horny old couple who simply can't keep their hands off each other in a car. To save the day comes Doctor Ted Nelson! Written by Jonah Falcon jonahnynla@mindspring.com

A football player at Rosedale High School is amorous of one of the cheerleaders, who is going with another guy. Another player can't decide which of two cheerleaders he wants to be with. Meanwhile, the Big Game with Hardin High School is approaching, and a prank war is in full swing. Written by Ed Sutton esutton@mindspring.com

An adaptation of the fairy tale, Cinderella traces the misadventures of our heroine, who, via the help of her "fairy" (i.e. gay) godmother, is granted heightened sexual prowess to win over Prince Charming. After a blindfolded orgy at the royal castle, the nerdy Prince must sleep with every willing woman in his kingdom until he finds that one, mysterious lover who so "stood out" on the night of the sex Ball. Written by Lammastide