"Cactus" Jack Slade (Douglas) is the meanest bad man in the west or so he thinks. When a bank robbery goes awry, he lands in jail facing a hangman's noose! When the corrupt owner of the bank offers him a job, Jack sees a chance to both stay alive and get rich in the process. All he has to do is steal a strongbox full of money the banker lent to Mr. Parody Jones who needs it to keep his mining operation going. If he defaults on the loan, our "friendly" banker takes over the mine. Ms. Charming Jones (Margret) comes to town to collect the money and take it back to her father, Parody. To ensure the money makes it back home, Parody has called in a favor from a man who owes him a life debt. Enter Handsome Stranger (Schwarzenegger). The toughest and strongest hero in the west. As tough as a steel plate but, unfortunately, just as dense. As Charming and Handsome set off on their journey, Jack sets out after them. Using his trusty "Bad Men Of The West" handbook, Jack sets one trap after ... Written by gorn9146

Bandit and Cledus are two truck-driving southerners who accept a dare from big-shots Big and Little Enos to pick up a truckload of beer from Texas and return it to them within a specified amount of time. Picking it up is simple enough, but as they are leaving Texas, Bandit unwittingly picks up Carrie, a hitchhiking bride-to-be who just left her groom, Junior, at the altar. Junior, however, is the son of Sheriff Buford T. Justice. And when Buford and Junior discover what has happened, they go on a "high-speed pursuit" across the Southeast to catch the bandit. Written by jgp3553@excite.com