The first testament says "an eye for an eye." The second testament says "love thy neighbour." The third testament KICKS ASS! The filmmaking team that brought you Harry Knuckles and won the "Spirit of Slamdance" prize with Harry Knuckles and the Treasure of the Aztec Mummy ups the ante with this tale of the ultimate action hero: Jesus Christ. The second coming is upon us, and Jesus has returned to earth. But before he can get down to the serious business of judging the living and the dead, he has to contend with an army of vampires that can walk in the daylight. Combining kung-fu action with biblical prophecy and a liberal dose of humour, the film teams the Savior with Mexican wrestling hero El Santos against mythological horrors and science gone mad, and also manages to address contemporary sexual politics. And did we mention that it's a musical? This sure ain't Sunday School. Written by Lee Demarbre leedemarbre@rogers.com

Television news celebrity April Carson turns to the services of private investigator Isaac Beaumonde to seek her missing sister, a stripper known as Gigi Spot. Carson assumes a role in a horror movie in the process, eventually learning that the movie's director, Able Whitman, is not only the culprit, but that he has rendered her sister's body into props for the production.

A demented handyman comes to the rescue of a young woman (Ashley Greene), then imprisons her in his basement.