Archie flies into a panic when his good-for-nothing cousin Oscar stays the night and then dies in his guest room. The Bunkers put together a wake at which Archie tries to figure out how to put Oscar away without having to spend too much money. He gets a rock bottom statement from the funeral director but still thinks it's too high. Then Mike does some research and discovers that since Oscar is not technically Archie immediate family then all he has to do is call the coroner, who will collect the body and bury him in a pauper's grave at no charge. Archie jumps at the chance especially when he gets the news that the grave diggers are about to go on strike. Written by Jerry Roberts armchair-cinema@hotmail.com

Mike and Gloria bring an eccentric artist friend, Szabo Daborba, who specializes in painting abstract female nudes over to the house . When Szabo suggests that Gloria pose for him, it sparks an angry debate between Archie and Mike over the morality of art and decency, but it also allows Archie to plant some doubt in Mike's mind over whether Szabo will take advantage of Gloria. Written by Jerry Roberts armchair-cinema@hotmail.com

Mike and Lionel decide to become part of an anti-war protest, but it isn't until they leave that Gloria gets the news that the situation is turning violent. She and Edith urge Archie to go down to the protest and bring him home. Mike comes home frazzled but unharmed, but Archie ends up in the slammer surrounded by commies, hippies and drop-outs. Mike secures his release because the police captain is Polish, but Archie doesn't know that and offends the captain, leaving him to stay in jail a little longer. Written by Jerry Roberts armchair-cinema@hotmail.com

Edith writes a poem and gets a letter from a company that wants to turn it into a song for only $30. Archie buys a dog alarm and a gun to protect the house all for only $60. The family gets into an argument over which is more important and Archie agrees to give the gun back. That night two burglars, who have just robbed a jewelry store, break into the house and hold the Bunker's hostage until the heat is off. At one point, the thief threatens to take off with the $30 but Edith talks him out of it by offering to sing the song. After hearing her singing, they decide that the Bunkers are in such sad shape that it would be cruel to rob them. The next day Archie reads in the newspaper that the crooks were arrested, and Mike reveals that he fixed the Dog Alarm by replacing it with Edith's singing. Written by Jerry Roberts armchair-cinema@hotmail.com

It is Mike and Gloria's first anniversary and, over dinner, the family reminisces about the first time that Mike came over for dinner. At that first meeting, Mike and Archie immediately established their hatred for one another starting with an argument over Vietnam, leading Mike to storm out of the house vowing never to return. After a heated argument between Archie and Gloria, Mike returns and the two attempt to have a civil conversation about baseball that escalates into another shouting match that reveals that Mike and Gloria not only plan to get married but that they plan to spend four years living under Archie's roof. Written by Jerry Roberts armchair-cinema@hotmail.com

Election Day is coming and Archie is at odds with Mike over which candidate is most qualified for the job, mainly because Mike's choice is a woman named Claire Packer. Mike is shocked to learn that Archie is choosing not to vote, and in arriving at the polls, Edith is shocked to learn that he isn't even registered and that he hasn't voted since 1960. Suddenly desperate to get his vote out, Archie tries encourage Edith to cast her vote for his choice rather than her own. Written by Jerry Roberts armchair-cinema@hotmail.com

Edith has an accident in a parking lot involving a runaway shopping cart and leaves her name and phone number on the car. This angers Archie who thought she could have gotten away with it otherwise. When he finds out that the damages will be $197, he is dead-set on not paying it. The man - who turns out to be a priest - comes over to discuss matters and is suspicious that the priest may be on the up and up. Even when the man reveals his credentials, Archie refuses to pay for the damage. It turns out that the damage was only $14, but the priest is so offended by Archie that even when he offers to pay the $14, the priest tells him that he doesn't want his money. The priest leaves but comes back to tell him that he doesn't want money for the repairs but he will be happy to donate it to a Catholic charity. Written by Jerry Roberts armchair-cinema@hotmail.com

Archie is excited when a real estate agent wants to buy his house for a huge profit. He figures it is a good deal because he and the family move out to California to stay with a rich relative while looking for a place to live. When the agent comes by the house, he offers Archie $35,000 and Mike alerts him that the man is a Blockbuster, a scam artist who exploits the owners' fears of lower prices if racial minorities live in the area. Archie doesn't believe him and is ready to sign away the house. Edith becomes very vocal and refuses to give in to a situation that she thinks will see her family selling all of their precious memories. Archie won't listen until Bertha drops in to tell him that the supposedly rich relative in California is flat broke and that the family would be living in his garage. Archie changes his mind and rushed out the door to warn the neighbors. Written by Jerry Roberts armchair-cinema@hotmail.com

Mike is facing final exams with anxiety so severe that it has rendered him impotent. Gloria is at a loss to help him so she turns to her mother for help. Mike is so stressed that he turns to Archie for help, hoping to acquire an older man's experience. Archie, at a loss, turns to Henry Jefferson for advice based on the theory that black people have a special secret to sexual potency. Finally, Edith comes up with the idea of simply leaving Mike and Gloria alone in the house for the evening, much to the chagrin of Archie who spends the evening in a bar watching a monster movie. Written by Jerry Roberts armchair-cinema@hotmail.com

Archie's problems come crashing down on him during one hectic day. First Edith gets a letter stating that their insurance has been canceled. Her nephew informs them that this is due to the crime in the area where they live which puts them in the high risk category due to low-income black families who have moved into the area. Then, Archie is given the unhappy task of having to fire an employee at work, and must decide whether or not to fire a lazy white man or a black man or a Puerto Rican man who are hard workers. He decides to fire the Puerto Rican man who takes his firing with good humor because it means that he is left with the lazy man to do his job. Written by Jerry Roberts armchair-cinema@hotmail.com

Archie comes home in a good mood because, while at work, he was interviewed by CBS for his opinion on the Nixon administration. After dinner he gathers the family around the television only to find that the set is busted. While Mike and Edith try to find a repairman who is working late, Gloria tries to find at least one neighbor that Archie hasn't offended who will let him borrow their set. A repairman comes by and gives Archie a diagnosis but can't fix it because he is Jewish and can't work after sundown on Friday. Finally, Archie takes the family down to Kelsey's Bar and just as the broadcast begins it is pre-empted by a speech from Nixon himself. Written by Jerry Roberts armchair-cinema@hotmail.com

Mike, Gloria and Archie are sick and Edith is running herself into a frazzle trying to keep up with their needs. She enlists the help of her cousin Maude Finley whom Archie can't stand because she is an outspoken bleeding heart liberal. Upon her arrival, the two get into a huge fight over Franklin Roosevelt, whom Archie hated and Maude adored. As the argument comes to a close, Edith reveals that she's sick and that Maude will stick around to take care of her. The next day, Archie is dismayed by the fact that Maude is staying because now she is sick too. Written by Jerry Roberts armchair-cinema@hotmail.com

It's Christmas Day and Archie refuses to be in a good mood, despite the family's attempts to cheer him up. All day he can't seem to get away from people who are either happy or want money. After much aggravation, plus a visit from Jeffersons, Archie finally admits that he didn't get his Christmas bonus because his team at work was fined because an order was suppose to be shipped to London, Ontario was instead shipped to London, England. Written by Jerry Roberts armchair-cinema@hotmail.com

Archie discovers too late that Edith forgot to mail the insurance check and today is the last day of the grace period. He leaves her birthday dinner to get to the insurance office to put it under the door, but on the way up the elevator stops, leaving him trapped with a snooty black man, a dingy secretary, a Puerto Rican janitor and his pregnant wife. The secretary goes into hysterics, the wife goes into labor, the black man won't shut up about his wealth, the janitor has to defend himself against stereotypical remarks and Archie offends everyone with his opinions. He makes a myriad of jokes at the expense of the janitor but when the baby is actually born the event softens his heart. Meanwhile, Edith, back at the restaurant takes a liking to the wine and gets bombed out of her mind. Written by Jerry Roberts armchair-cinema@hotmail.com

Archie is excited about a trip that he is planning with Edith to go to Disney World, but something goes wrong when Edith begins to have mood swings and hot and cold flashes. One moment she is sweet and lovable, the next she is angry and defensive - even telling Archie to stifle. Gloria explains that she is just going through the early stages of menopause but Edith translates it as her first step toward the old folk's home. Archie, meanwhile, is forced to do things against his own nature when he has to nurture and be understanding toward Edith even though it is driving him insane. Written by Jerry Roberts armchair-cinema@hotmail.com

Archie flies into full-bird panic when a man comes by asking questions about his neighbor Larry Grundy, who has been his friend for 15 years. He suspects that the man may be from the F.B.I. investigating Larry to find out if he is really a subversive. Archie becomes suspicious and suspects that his house is being bugged as part of a sting operation. He and Larry get into a screaming match in the living room over who may or may not secretly be pink. Larry calls off their friendship and is about to leave when Archie gets a call from work telling him that the investigation is not being conducted by the F.B.I., but by The Air Force due to a defense contract that ended six months earlier. Edith suggests that Archie and Larry patch things up, but Larry refuses and quietly walks out the door. Written by Jerry Roberts armchair-cinema@hotmail.com

A woman comes to the door and tells Edith that she is leaving Michael with something of his that she has had for four years: his son. The woman runs away, leaving the kid in Edith's care. He refuses to give her his name or his mother's name. When Gloria and Mike and Archie come home, they can't get an answer either. Then it all comes back to Mike when a photo is found in the kid's pocket. Seems she is Marylin Sanders, a woman that he was with some years ago for one night. This raises some issues between Mike and Gloria since he never told her about the woman. Marylin comes back and lets them know that she has had a difficult time finding a man who will accept her son, so she left him with the Bunkers hoping that she could make a go of her latest date and then introduce the kid once things had worked out. She also reveals that Mike is, in fact, not the father. Written by Jerry Roberts armchair-cinema@hotmail.com

While out on an errand with Mike, Archie witnesses a mugging. Despite objections from the family, he refuses to tell the police what he saw mostly because the victim was Italian and he believes that the Mafia was involved. When he is forced to turn in a report, he gives false information claiming that the muggers were two Mafia hit-men in suits in a fancy car. Later, Mr. Vicino, the victim, comes by the house and lays out the whole story, that Archie saw the mugger and he didn't. But their stories don't match and Vicino accuses Archie of backing out on testifying because he is prejudice against Catholics. Gloria notices that Archie testimony has made the papers, that the mob has been accused of the crime. Edith gets a phone call saying that a man named Silvestri from an Italian defamation agency is coming over to talk to Archie, who is convinced that he is a hit-man who is coming to whack him. When he arrives, the man asks Archie for the details and he is so frightened that he tells ... Written by Jerry Roberts armchair-cinema@hotmail.com

The kids go away on vacation leaving Archie and Edith alone for the first time in years. Edith tries to get an uninterested Archie to do something fun but fails at every turn until she suggests a game of cards. The game turns into an argument, Archie hurts her feelings and storms out of the house. Later, he comes back in a better mood and the two have a deep conversation about what they wanted to do with their lives before they got married. Archie wanted to be a ball player and Edith wanted to be a famous ballroom dancer. Finally, he apologizes - sort of - for the things he said earlier. They share a passionate kiss just as Mike and Gloria return home. Written by Jerry Roberts armchair-cinema@hotmail.com

Edith's cousin Amelia sends her an old mink because she just purchased a new one. Edith is excited but Archie insists that she give it back. During dinner, an accident causes her to spill spaghetti sauce all over it. Archie sends it over to the Jeffersons who not only can't get the stain out, but destroy the mink the process. They offer The Bunkers an insurance check worth $300. Amelia and her husband Russ come to visit and he and Archie get into an argument when Russ begins comparing his home to theirs. When Louise drops off the check, Russ insists on taking it, but Archie makes it clear that he intends to keep it. That is, until he discovers that it is made out to Amelia. Written by Jerry Roberts armchair-cinema@hotmail.com

Archie comes home excited because while he was out driving his cab, one of his passengers was the legendary 'Sammy Davis Jr.' It seems that Mr. Davis left his briefcase in the cab and wants to come by the house to pick it up. Archie tries to keep the singer's visit under wraps but Edith can't help blabbing. First Lionel comes over, then his mother, then Barney Hefner. Finally, Sammy requests a picture with he and Archie and at the last minute kisses him on the cheek. Written by Jerry Roberts armchair-cinema@hotmail.com

Archie threatens to sue Joe Girgis, the laundromat owner, when his machine breaks down and destroys the laundry. Girgis, the man who owns the laundromat threatens to sue Archie on the claim the Archie overloaded the machine. Mike suggests that rather than settle it in court, they should find an honest person to settle the matter in private. Girgis suggests that Edith should be that person. In hearing the case, Edith decides to remove herself from the case because she knows who is guilty. She remembers setting the scale back five pounds because she knows that Archie gets mad when he gains weight, so Archie was unknowingly at fault. Written by Jerry Roberts armchair-cinema@hotmail.com

Archie is outraged when he finds a spicy letter that Mike wrote Gloria before they were married. In trying to defend them, Edith reveals that she once spent a weekend in the country with Freddy Whithouse while Archie was overseas during the war. He is so hurt that she kept it a secret that he leaves. Mike goes down to the bar to talk Archie into coming back. When he comes home, he manages to get Edith to apologize even though there was nothing to apologize for. Written by Jerry Roberts armchair-cinema@hotmail.com

Archie and Edith take a trip uptown to attend the wedding of Carol, the daughter of Edith's cousin Maude. Archie decides to stay at the hotel rather than face either the bachelor party or the bridal shower. The focus shifts to the Finley household where Carol and David are having problems getting together on what their marriage will include. David comes home from the bachelor party after the cops raid the hotel and gets into an argument with Carol. It seems that he wants kids and has already purchased a house, but Carol doesn't want any of those things. Fueled with anger and alcohol, David begins to suspect that Carol's family hates him because he is Jewish. After a few choice words they decide to call the wedding off. Archie comes back to Maude's house and admits that he couldn't sleep because of a wild party at which he called the cops. Written by Jerry Roberts armchair-cinema@hotmail.com