Alfie turns up for the new term with a terrible hair-cut - thanks to his father - and learns that, for the school's annual swimming gala, there is to be a synchronized diving contest. The lure of a cash bet with Miss Pickwell encourages Alfie to enter his class - with a trip to Nando's as a bribe - but they are pretty poor and the scary lifeguard Joy only serves to put them off. Come the day of the event Alfie and the class's tubbiest pupil Joe somehow manage to beat Miss Pickwell. However Alfie 's chlorine allergy blinds him so that, after he has showered, he ends up nude in front of the whole school - and that includes his beloved Miss Gulliver and her lesbian girlfriend. Written by don @ minifie-1

Alfie is shocked when Kevin Schwimer, an all-American Olympic medallist with a penchant for charitable deeds and marathons, arrives at the school and - in view of his debacle at the swimming pool - given Alfie's Form K to teach whilst Alfie is relegated to trying to keep the terrifying Form 2J in order. Initially Form K warm to Kevin's stories and humanity but it soon becomes apparent that he is an impostor - which is just what Alfie needs to know to expose him to Miss Pickwell and Fraser. And the fact that Kevin also has a hand in killing the pet owl Miss Pickwell has brought in to cure the school's rat infestation also helps speed him on his way and get Alfie reinstated. Written by don @ minifie-1

After Alfie has played a cruel joke on her Miss Pickwell goes missing. Her car is found by the Clifton Suspension Bridge with a note to say she has jumped to her death, driven to it by Alfie. Whilst Fraser and Alfie interview prospective replacements - all highly unsuitable - Miss Gulliver is appointed acting deputy and proceeds to act more and more like Miss Pickwell. Consumed with guilt Alfie gives a funeral oration - though unfortunately for the wrong person - before organizing a lavish memorial service at the school, after which he is secretly visited by Miss Pickwell. She tells him she staged her own death for the insurance money and wants a thousand pounds from him to flee to Argentina. He reluctantly agrees to help. Written by don @ minifie-1

Alfie does not take to Miss Pickwell's equally officious replacement Professor Celia Green, especially when she interrupts Fraser's 'Take Me Out' dating show which he has organized for Valentine's Day, announcing to everybody that Chantelle is pregnant and Alfie has offered to help look after the baby. Miss Gulliver agrees to pose as Alfie's girlfriend as he has told Martin, his father, that they are going out. However when Miss Gulliver arrives at the house she and Alfie have to endure hearing the noisy love-making of former student colleagues Martin and Professor Green. Written by don @ minifie-1

Miss Gulliver is peeved when she is not allowed to give the drugs awareness lecture, that job going to the ultra-trendy India, who actually takes drugs herself. Anxious to impress India Alfie invites her to a rave but, learning that no pupil has any drugs to sell, makes his own. This has a disastrous effect, leading him to believe he is the Little Mermaid. Professor Green calls the police and Stephen's parents arrive to take him out of the school. Fortunately Miss Gulliver saves the day by persuading everybody that Alfie was taking part in a very realistic anti-drugs role play. Written by don @ minifie-1

When Fraser gives the Nigerian finance minister all the school's funds hoping for a sound return the school faces bankruptcy and Professor Green introduces austerity measures by selling off all its equipment. With unemployment looming Miss Gulliver plans to move to Soweto and, desperate to stop her, Alfie organizes a fund-raising day. At the slave auction a mystery bidder offers £25,000, the sum that will save the school, to have Alfie as their sex slave for the day but the bidder turns out to be Miss Pickwell, a millionaires after an elderly admirer has died and left her all his money. As if this was not bad enough Martin and Professor Green announce their forthcoming wedding. Written by don @ minifie-1

Alfie is reluctant to direct the end of term Christmas play given that his mother failed to turn up to see him in his primary school play. However, when the class cannot decide on 'The Nutcracker' or 'Robocop' as their choice Alfie writes 'Robocracker' about a super-hero who saves the world. Though it is very bizarre it goes down a storm - even with Bonehead, the Scots tramp and former actor Alfie met helping Miss Gulliver at the soup kitchen, in the audience. Furthermore Mitchell and Fraser have contacted Alfie's mother in Spain and she turns up with her husband Javier to be impressed by her son's effort. And to round off a perfect day Miss Gulliver tells Alfie she loves him. Written by don @ minifie-1