Lamont buys a porcelain figure for $15 from a silent movie star. After having it appraised, Lamont and Fred decide to sell it at an auction. They attend the auction pretending to be buyers to bid the price even higher. However, things go awry to Lamont's dismay. Written by James D. Lankin

It is Fred's 65th birthday and Lamont wants to make it a special night, so after buying him a new hat, he takes him to a showing of the movie Fiddler on the Roof, which Fred complains about. Then he takes Fred out to a bar for a fancy drink, which Fred complains about. Then he takes Fred out for Chinese food, which Fred complains about. Frustrated, Lamont abandons Fred at the restaurant, leaving Fred to walk home in the rain. Written by Jerry Roberts

Lamont is excited about his upcoming wedding, but on the big day he quickly finds himself the only one who is. The bride dumps him at the altar, and his relatives beg to get back their wedding gifts.

Fred's friend Kelly, turns Fred and Lamont onto a sweet deal involving some copper that a contact, named Otto, is trying to get rid of because he says his church is being torn down to put up a parking lot. Fred is skeptical of the deal but Lamont assures him that he knows what he is doing. Fred and Lamont are instructed to wait at a diner for the man to show up to close the deal. After doing so they return home where Smitty and Swanee pay them a visit and warn them about a copper thief that is working in the area. Panicked, Fred and Lamont drive their newly acquired load of copper down to the ocean and dump it. Returning home, they discover that all of their plumbing has been stolen, and that the copper dealer sold them their own copper which he pulled out while they were waiting for him at the diner. Written by Jerry Roberts

While on his daily rounds, Lamont spots a Breath Mobile that is offering free chest X-Rays. Concerned about his father's chain smoking, he tries to get his old man to get a chest X-Ray, which Fred is reluctant to do. He and Fred both get chest X-Rays and when they get the results in the mail, Fred's letter comes up clean, but Lamont's states that his test was unsatisfactory due to a technical fault. Taking this as a sign that he has tuberculosis, Lamont panics and decides to check into a sanitarium. Fred become nervous that the condition might be contagious and tries to sanitize the house. Later, Lamont comes home disgusted because the technical fault was due to his St. Christopher medal blocking the X-Ray. He also learns that while he was gone, Fred not only read his last will and testament, but also burned his mattresses, sheets and pillow cases. Written by Jerry Roberts

Fred is sweeping the floor when he accidentally elbows Lamont's valuable glass and porcelain collection. He sweeps the broken pieces into a dustpan and hides it in the refrigerator out in the yard, then knocks over some things in the house to make it look like a robbery had occurred. Lamont reports the robbery and Fred receives a commendation. While he is away, Lamont discovers the dustpan in the fridge and fakes a robbery himself, claiming that the crooks broke into his piggy bank and stole his money. He reveals the ruse, which forces Fred to confess to what he did. Written by Jerry Roberts

Fred busts up Lamont's romantic date with girlfriend Darlene, causing Lamont to decide that it is time the he get a place of his own. Moving out, he finds that living on his own is no picnic either. First, he has trouble finding a date, then he has trouble with an intruding landlady. Meanwhile, Fred has a string of dates, mostly widows, coming through on a nightly basis. Lamont comes back home and, too prideful to admit what really happened, tells his father that he is moving back home because he was worried about him being home alone. Written by Jerry Roberts

Lamont discovers that Fred hasn't been paying the bills and not only are their utilities being turned off but they are being turned over to a collection agency. With money owed, bill collectors start showing up and Fred and Lamont become prisoners in their own home. Finally, an implacable repo man shows up with the police and they are forced to open their door. In an effort to stop the repo man, Fred fakes falling down the stairs. In order to avoid a feared lawsuit, the repo man decides to cut a deal with them. Written by Jerry Roberts

Lamont brings home a pair of old wooden coffins that he bought at an auction, but superstitious Fred wants nothing to do with them. Attempting to sell them to a funeral director, Lamont and the man can't agree on a price. When Fred finds out that the coffins are going to spend the night in the front room, he decides to sleep out on the truck. After the house gets quiet, Lamont gets a little edgy himself and eventually ends up joining Fred outside. Written by Jerry Roberts

Fred's in love and engaged to be married, but not if Lamont can help it.

In need of a new color television, Fred is upset when Lamont decides to spend the money instead on a new car. Lamont has a change of heart, however, when Fred wanders away from home and is taken to the hospital - with an apparent case of amnesia. Written by Brian Rathjen briguy_52732@yahoo.com

On his daily rounds, Lamont picks up a leather satchel in an alley and doesn't realize until he gets it home that it contains $50,000. He and Fred first dream about what to do with the money then begin to panic when they fear that someone might come looking for it. To keep it secure, Fred hides the satchel in the house safe and accidentally locks the combination inside, which proves to be a problem when the man who stole the money comes looking for it and holds Fred and Lamont at gunpoint demanding it back. Written by Jerry Roberts

Fred and Donna kiss and make up, sparking Lamont to hatch new plans for putting the kibosh on Cupid.

Fred and Lamont accept an offer from a rich high-society socialite to move his piano out of his apartment. Lamont is dedicated to the getting the job done, but Fred spends most of his time snooping around the man's apartment and making wisecracks about the possibility that he might be a homosexual. The man, who keeps walking in and out of the apartment, takes pity on Fred who, from his point of view seems to be doing all the work. Finally, when the piano becomes wedged in the front door, Lamont gets fed up with the man's negative attitude and decides to leave it there. Written by Jerry Roberts