Whilst Prince Charles is more concerned with selling his biscuits wife Camilla is angry that they are less popular than his son William, who married gypsy Kate Middleton and works incognito in a kebab shop. Furthermore when a crisis looms Wills becomes a helicopter-flying hero. Envious of her sister Kate Pippa Middleton sets out to ensnare Harry whilst princesses Eugenie and Beatrice decide to launch their new make-up range at Harry's charity ball. Equally cash-strapped is prince Edward who, after an unwise musical deal, ends up baby-sitting for Kate and Wills. Come the charity ball Kate finds that she has been tricked into looking uncaring by a vengeful Camilla. Written by don @ minifie-1

Wills starts his first day as an Air Ambulance pilot whilst Harry starts his in a charity shop. Camilla, now pregnant and desirous to see her own offspring on the throne, attempts in vain to upstage Kate, who is rushed to hospital with Ebola. Pippa tries in vain to seduce Wills but has more luck with Harry. Meanwhile Eugenie and Beatrice meet a charming Arab, who suggests a Middle Eastern holiday, leading to Harry, Fergie and Edward getting arrested when they mistake him for a terrorist. Once again it is Wills to the rescue, along with the newly-recovered Kate, though Charles puts a stop to his career as a helicopter pilot, taking the view that the Windsors are above day to day employment. Written by don @ minifie-1

Unlike his father Wills feels that the royal family has outlived its usefulness so that when Charles is approached by Richard, a man who proves to be his son by one of the Three Degrees and the heir to the throne, he and Kate move to Rickmansworth to live as commoners. Camilla, however, has her own reason for not wanting Richard to succeed. Eugenie and Beatrice attempt to reunite their parents but their father's love of practical jokes dooms their effort whilst Australia leaves the Commonwealth when Harry, out of love for Pippa, refuses to marry the Australian prime minister's daughter. Written by don @ minifie-1

Inspired by the shade of George VI Wills decides to plan the Royal Variety Show, neglecting Kate. who turns to the Archbishop of Canterbury for romantic consolation though pictures of the two together provide Wills with a wake-up call. Harry, distraught that Pippa is marrying a look-alike gets drunk and ends up in a Latvian mental ward before Edward rescues him and reunites him with Pippa whilst Camilla, not pregnant after all, does not impress the social worker interviewing her to be a foster parent and Beatrice nearly kills herself on her first day at the office. Written by don @ minifie-1

Wills feels the monarchy is outdated and calls a referendum, to his father's horror, with the pair going head to head on a television debate show. Wills emerges as the popular front runner but Camilla persuades Pippa, recently engaged to Harry, to prevail upon her man to give a rousing speech defending the establishment so that she can be a princess - as well as bribing Fergie to dish the date on Kate's past. The 'Keep' party would seem to be ahead but then things take a surprising turn. Written by don @ minifie-1

The monarchy is abolished and George Osborne is president, devising 'Hunger Games' style hunts to kill minor Royals, looting Buckingham Palace and wooing Pippa. With a week to go before the country is sold to the Chinese Wills, inspired by King Alfred, must save Britain by retrieving the sword Excalibur from the vaults at the palace. This is indeed the stuff of nightmares but Camilla has an even more fiendish plan, requiring Wills to play the hero in order to save his family. Written by don @ minifie-1

On Christmas eve the royals head for Sandringham , taken out of moth-balls for the occasion and Camilla is not happy when Kate declares that she wants to cook the dinner for the family, despite scary Princess Anne's austerity measures. Nor is Charles pleased to learn that a referendum prefers William as king, rather than his father, with the ghost of George III chipping in to help reach a decision. Pippa is annoyed when Harry deserts her to help singer Ellie Goulding organize a soup kitchen for the homeless but Beatrice and Eugenie are thrilled to see their parents reconciled - until they discover their father's motive. Camilla continues to sabotage Kate's culinary efforts, aided by the presence of the homeless people invited by Harry but it is Kate who saves the day when Charles' misguided Christmas speech almost starts a war with Europe. Written by don @ minifie-1