A September heatwave causes tempers to flare up in the Bunker house. Mike won't leave Archie alone about Watergate, Archie destroys the air conditioner, a Puerto Rican family is about to buy the house next door and Archie and Henry draw up a notice to keep them from moving in. The Puerto Rican family moves on but the house is then bought by The Lorenzos, she is Irish and can fix anything and he is Italian and won't stop singing. Written by Jerry Roberts armchair-cinema@hotmail.com

Archie is angry that Edith is spending so much time with the Lorenzos. In order to make friends, she takes Frank up on his offer to make dinner. But Archie can't stand the Lorenzos, particularly Frank's singing, and takes every opportunity to complain or make them feel unwelcome. He offends Frank at dinner when he makes a comment about his soup causing Edith to become angry and - in her own way - put him in his place. Written by Jerry Roberts armchair-cinema@hotmail.com

Edith brings an old man by the house who wants to call his daughter to come pick him up. It seems that he has escaped from the old folks home because he was tired of the drab existence there. Archie is befuddled by the man and wants him to make his call and leave. The daughter won't talk to the old man so he makes arrangements with his girlfriend to come and pick him up. The presence of the man makes Archie begin to feel his age and fear that his declining years are right around the corner. The man leaves Archie with simple advice: Get old, but don't grow old. Written by Jerry Roberts armchair-cinema@hotmail.com

Irene gives Gloria a replica of Rodin's statue The Kiss which she immediately falls in love with. Archie is offended by the nudity, sparking a debate with Mike and Gloria over what is art and what is filth. In their absence, Archie gives the statue to Frank who is stunned that Irene gave it to Gloria in the first place. Gloria is outraged and refuses to speak to her father. As an apology, Archie buys her a peace offering, a horrendous statue of a woman with a fish on her head. Gloria hates the statue but loves her father for the gesture. Written by Jerry Roberts armchair-cinema@hotmail.com

Archie comes home with gifts for Edith and Gloria, making Mike wonder where he got the extra money. Edith becomes furious when she pieces together that Archie has started gambling on horses again even though he promised 20 years ago that he would never gamble again. During a particularly angry argument, Edith slaps Archie causing him to leave. Down at Kelsey's bar, Barney Hefner convinces Archie that the only way to deal with her is either through the silent treatment or by getting tough. He takes up the latter and storms home only to find that it doesn't work. Edith reads and apology letter that Archie thinks is an apology to him, but actually it is a letter that he wrote to her 20 years ago promising never to gamble again. Reluctantly, he updates the letter by resigning it. Written by Jerry Roberts armchair-cinema@hotmail.com

Louise is planning a farewell party for Henry who is moving away to start his own business. The problem is that she can't get George to attend because he won't set foot in a white man's house. So, through a mangle of miscommunication, she manages to get Edith to agree to host the party at her house. Of course, during the party Archie has to give his full opinion of the proceedings and of Henry's new venture. George reluctantly arrives to give his brother a farewell toast. Written by Jerry Roberts armchair-cinema@hotmail.com

Mike brings home a game called Group Therapy which asks players to open up about certain private feelings. He invites Lionel and the Lorenzos over the play, but the game turns out to be less fun then he had planned when he begins acting childish about everyone's reaction to him. He accuses everyone of criticizing him just as harshly as Archie. Edith straightens him out by explaining that Archie doesn't hate him but criticizes him because he sees in Mike all the things that he can never be. Archie comes home completely oblivious to what is going on. Mike says he understands and hugs him. Written by Jerry Roberts armchair-cinema@hotmail.com

Mike brings home a game called Group Therapy which asks players to open up about certain private feelings. He invites Lionel and the Lorenzos over the play, but the game turns out to be less fun then he had planned when he begins acting childish about everyone's reaction to him. He accuses everyone of criticizing him just as harshly as Archie. Edith straightens him out by explaining that Archie doesn't hate him but criticizes him because he sees in Mike all the things that he can never be. Archie comes home completely oblivious to what is going on. Mike says he understands and hugs him. Written by Jerry Roberts armchair-cinema@hotmail.com

Archie is upset that Edith is spending so much time with Irene Lorenzo, going to her Catholic services and concerts. When Father Majesky drops off some pamphlets of information about Catholicism, Archie begins to suspect that Edith might be converting. He visits Majesky in his office to tell him not to try and convert her, but the good father talks him down. So does Edith, who tells him that she is only interested in learning about someone else's religion. Written by Jerry Roberts armchair-cinema@hotmail.com

The family goes away for the weekend leaving Archie alone in the house by himself. He waves off Irene's instructions about the broken lock on the cellar door and ends up getting himself stuck down there. Alone with only a tape recorder and a bottle of Vodka to keep him company, he records his last will and testament as the ghosts of his loved ones appear and give their opinions of him. A man to the cellar comes to help him. Archie, who is drunk, thinks it is the voice of God who has come to take him home. When the man gets the door open, Archie is shocked when he sees a black man. Written by Jerry Roberts armchair-cinema@hotmail.com

While Archie is away at his reunion with his old Army buddies, Frank and Irene invite Edith, Gloria and Mike to a movie. Gloria comes home with a surprise for Mike, a short black bobbed wig, which turns Mike on so much that he decides that they need to stay home. Getting ready to make love, Mike is aghast that Gloria has taken it off and she accuses him of loving the wig more than he loves her. They stop speaking to each other until the next day when he explains that the wig would be nothing without her in it. Written by Jerry Roberts armchair-cinema@hotmail.com

Archie and Edith's 25 wedding anniversary is fast approaching and Edith has made elaborate (and secret) plan for she and Archie to spend a weekend in Atlantic City where they originally spent their honeymoon. Archie comes home excited because he got basketball tickets for that weekend, forcing Edith to give him the news early. Archie insists on going to the game, but Edith puts her foot down and Archie is forced to relent. They end up going to Atlantic City. Written by Jerry Roberts armchair-cinema@hotmail.com

Archie is robbed while driving Munson's cab, and finds himself at odds with a corrupt politician who doesn't want him to report the crime.

Irene comes over to invite Edith to the museum. While Edith is getting ready, Irene gets into a discussion with Archie about the inferiority of female athletes versus male athletes. Irene calls off the trip to the museum when her conversation with Archie ends with a bet that she can best him in a game of pool down at Kelcy's Bar. Archie comes to understand what a good player she might be, but also fears that he might lose because Frank puts and old Italian curse on him called a malocchio - or evil eye. Archie claims to throw out his back moments before leaving for Kelcy's bar and the game is postponed. At the game, Frank tricks him by throwing money on the floor, proving that there is nothing wrong with his back, forcing him to have to play the game anyway. Irene beats the pants off of him. Written by Jerry Roberts armchair-cinema@hotmail.com

On Christmas Day, Edith tells Gloria that she has found a lump in her breast and worries that she may have cancer.

The Stivics quarrel over sex roles in their marriage when Mike complains that Gloria has become the aggressor as of late.

It is Archie's 50th birthday and everyone is getting ready for his party, except the guest of honor who claims to be only 49. During the party he gets depressed and makes his way to Kelcy's Bar until everyone is ready to admit his real age. While there, Mr. Quigley comes to comfort him, reminding him of how many good years he has left. Archie is convinced to go home, but Quigley reveals that he has actually brought the party to Kelcy's. Written by Jerry Roberts armchair-cinema@hotmail.com

Joe Tucker, an old friend of Archie's comes calling whom he thinks has made himself into a huge success. It turns out that things are not so good for Joe. Not only is he out of work but he's been seeing a psychiatrist. He applied for a job at the docks and Archie thinks that he might be after his job. At work, the manager calls Archie in to ask questions about Joe's character, and Archie tells the boss about the psychiatrist. Not only does Joe get the job, despite this but he becomes Archie's new supervisor. Written by Jerry Roberts armchair-cinema@hotmail.com

Gloria's friend George takes a break from his job at the grocery store to help Gloria home with the groceries. Archie treats him like a child because he is mentally handicapped, encouraging him to take a longer break from the store because he deserves it. When he goes back to the store, he is fired for being late, but he disappears. George's father comes calling because he is worried about him only to find that George got another job, working at the loading docks. Written by Jerry Roberts armchair-cinema@hotmail.com

Lionel is getting married to a nice girl named Jenny and to celebrate the occasion, she has decided to throw an engagement party. However, in order to keep the peace, she invites Mike, Gloria and Edith but not Archie. Archie finds out about the party and assumes he's been invited. George forbids it but Archie goes anyway. The evening gets off to a bad start when Archie calls George's mother a mammy and then a full-scale war nearly breaks out when it is revealed that Jenny's parents are interracial. Finally, Archie and George share a What is the world coming to? toast. Written by Jerry Roberts armchair-cinema@hotmail.com

Gloria is sick with the flu, and soon Archie may be too. When Edith makes a stew with mushrooms, it isn't until Archie has some that Mike intervenes and tells him about a recall of Poconos Mushrooms that have been reported to have boccelism. The family panics and takes Archie to the doctor where he has to wait in the waiting room and then endures a painful shot. When he gets home, he gets the idea for a lawsuit only to have Edith break the news that he didn't eat Poconos but a brand with a similar label. Archie doesn't have boccelism, but does acquire Gloria's flu. Written by Jerry Roberts armchair-cinema@hotmail.com

As Archie and Mike are getting ready for a fishing trip, Gloria comes home feeling down. The family tries to get to the bottom of what's bothering her to no avail. Finally, when Archie and Mike leave for their trip, Edith has a talk with Gloria about a brief moment years ago when she wondered if she really loved Archie. Gloria realizes that this is her problem, that sometimes wonders if she loves Mike. Mike is so worried about her that she comes home before even reaching the lake. Unfortunately, he has Archie's fishing pole. Written by Jerry Roberts armchair-cinema@hotmail.com

George complains that Archie gave him a phony $20 bill leading to an argument not only between Archie and George, but between Edith and Louise that leaves the couples not speaking to each other. Edith and Louise make up, deciding that the only way to make their men behave is to fix the problem. So, Louise gets the idea to put a real $20 bill in Archie coat pocket so that George will think that Archie is trying to make amends. It backfires and George decides to keep it. Louise talks him out of it and the two go over to the Bunkers to settle the matter. Archie has the $20 in his hands when Mike intervenes with a long series of complicated math that has the money moving back and fourth between George and Archie and Louise and Edith and Gloria based on what everybody owes each other. Archie doesn't like the final result because all he ends up with is the phony $20 bill. Written by Jerry Roberts armchair-cinema@hotmail.com

Mike's graduation is coming up fast and he is stressed about his final exams. Everyone is stressed except Archie who couldn't be happier because graduation would mean that he and Gloria would move out and he would finally get to convert their bedroom into a den. As a celebration, he buys a pipe and sweater and even starts trying to find a place for the goat head that Barney Hefner gave him. But his joy is undercut when Mike tells him that he has excepted a fellowship and is going to stay on at school for another year. Written by Jerry Roberts armchair-cinema@hotmail.com

Mike's graduation is coming up fast and he is stressed about his final exams. Everyone is stressed except Archie who couldn't be happier because graduation would mean that he and Gloria would move out and he would finally get to convert their bedroom into a den. As a celebration, he buys a pipe and sweater and even starts trying to find a place for the goat head that Barney Hefner gave him. But his joy is undercut when Mike tells him that he has excepted a fellowship and is going to stay on at school for another year. Written by Jerry Roberts armchair-cinema@hotmail.com

Mike's graduation is coming up fast and he is stressed about his final exams. Everyone is stressed except Archie who couldn't be happier because graduation would mean that he and Gloria would move out and he would finally get to convert their bedroom into a den. As a celebration, he buys a pipe and sweater and even starts trying to find a place for the goat head that Barney Hefner gave him. But his joy is undercut when Mike tells him that he has excepted a fellowship and is going to stay on at school for another year. Written by Jerry Roberts armchair-cinema@hotmail.com

Mike's graduation is coming up fast and he is stressed about his final exams. Everyone is stressed except Archie who couldn't be happier because graduation would mean that he and Gloria would move out and he would finally get to convert their bedroom into a den. As a celebration, he buys a pipe and sweater and even starts trying to find a place for the goat head that Barney Hefner gave him. But his joy is undercut when Mike tells him that he has excepted a fellowship and is going to stay on at school for another year. Written by Jerry Roberts armchair-cinema@hotmail.com