The Commodore receives advice from one of his lawyers on how to save his crumbling empire, the fall due to the many family scandals, from his affair with Celine and fathering her yet unborn child, to Dodo's morphine addiction, to banished Lillian and Beatrice's media fueled infamy as the pigs, their whereabouts which are currently unknown. With Hortense nixing a plan specifically related to her, the Commodore decides on Plan B, which requires not only finding Lillian and Beatrice, and buying off Victor and Albert, but also receiving a favor from a person of authority across the ocean. Meanwhile, Lillian and Beatrice have enjoyed their proverbial fifteen minutes (in actuality, two weeks) of fame, but have since faded back into obscurity to their and Penelope's dismay, she who has housed them since their banishment. They meet someone who has managed to be famous for quite a while and want to learn her secret, namely Harriet Tubman. For a price, Harriet agrees to help them brand ... Written by Huggo

Lillian and Beatrice are able to get annulments from Victor and Albert respectively, the two ex-husbands who will nonetheless still reside at Bellacourt Manor. Lillian and Victor's division of assets goes smoothly except for one point of contention: who gets to live in the Butternut Room? They both stage a sit-in in the room trying to outwit the other into giving it up. Albert has developed a nervous affliction. When he and Beatrice discover the cause, Beatrice decides to help Albert get over the phobia that is causing the affliction as the item in question is part of Beatrice's core being. Frederick and Celery have been living in Washington, DC as he begins his service to the public as a Rhode Island senator. Beyond playing jacks, Frederick can't help but be preoccupied by what he considers a three week old problem. Peepers holds a children's job fair, as he believes it is never too early to start one in the life of indentured servitude. The child he hires, Jay, has one specific ... Written by Huggo

The Commodore invites a prince to Bellacourt Manor, sparking an intense romantic rivalry between Lillian and Beatrice. Peepers clashes with the prince's servant over proper butler techniques, and Hamish's cellmate attempts to teach him how to read.

Hamish's trial for the murder of Scoops LaPue is approaching. Because of the secret connection he has to Hamish, the Commodore does whatever he can to ensure that Hamish is not convicted. Because the Commodore's relatively simple plan entails Frederick playing a part, it is not a guarantee that it will come off as envisioned. Meanwhile, others have their own goal for the trial. Lillian, who will be a witness, wants to upstage everyone else to get front page newspaper coverage. Beatrice wants to see someone - anyone - die. Wheelbound Chair, who is also a witness, wants to see Hamish convicted as he tried to blackmail her. And Peepers, the true murderer, seeks advice from a trusted old source about what to do. Hamish's innate knowledge of a specific part of the female anatomy and a chorus of groupies attending the trial may affect the outcome despite what the Commodore, Lillian, Beatrice, Chair and Peepers want. Written by Huggo

The Roosevelts are invited to Bellacourt Manor by the Commodore, who hopes to convince Teddy to tap Frederick as his vice-president, while Lillian sets out to woo Frankiln, and Beatrice bonds with Eleanor. Also: The servants go on strike, much to Peepers' dismay.

What is assumed to be a contagion, most likely typhoid, has spread amongst the servants, quarantining their quarters and the kitchen downstairs in the process, leaving Peepers as the only unaffected servant left to tend to the needs of the Bellacourts. When news spreads within the manor that the press is coming to cover the event, Lillian wants to be seen as front and center in tending to the servants from a safe distance so that she can be front page news. In the process, Lillian accidentally gets trapped and ends up being quarantined with the servants. In her confinement with the servants in what will end most likely in death with them, Lillian may truly come to a downstairs perspective of life in the manor. Meanwhile, Victor, Albert and the Marquis de Sainsbury have formed a barbershop trio which will ultimately compete in the Boston Barberfest in a week's time. Arguing amongst themselves, they come up with what they believe is the definitive method to determine who will sing ... Written by Huggo

Albert Einstein is at Bellacourt Manor to ask the Commodore for a favor, while the Commodore in turn has thoughts of his own regarding Einstein's visit. With their impasse, Einstein instead makes a connection with someone else at the manor, namely Beatrice, who is not afraid to show a specific side of herself to him. The question is if she is willing to show this side of herself to others at the expense of what she's long held as being the priority in her life. The answer to that question may be easier to answer with Frederick also at the manor catching up with his Harvard colleagues. Pregnant Blanche is now showing, she who has not talked about her delicate condition to anyone. Peepers takes the matter into his own hands, he who thinks he has a perfect Plan B when Plan A doesn't seem to come to pass. And Lillian learns that there is something called a condom for which she can have sex without procreation. Sex starved Lillian has to find a way, number one to get a condom, which is not... Written by Huggo

Lillian and Beatrice decide that they want to become famous for actually doing something. What they want to do is write and sing a hit song, and as such call in composer Scott Joplin as a collaborating songwriter. Despite some hiccups along the way, the collaboration does result in a record being pressed. The final product, however, surprises both Lillian and Beatrice and does not give them the fame they want. They believe they can get justice and the fame that was so rightly theirs by crashing a concert given by Joplin. Meanwhile, virginal Peepers has been having carnal thoughts ever since the carriage ride he took with Dodo. Everything now makes him have uncontrollable erections and sometimes uncontrollable orgasms without even touching himself. He goes to Hamish to do the only thing he believes will stop these feelings. Hamish comes up with another solution for Peepers. And Blanche and Dr. Goldberg get married, so that Blanche will have a father for her yet unborn child, and Dr. ... Written by Huggo

After knowing him for two days, Lillian is able to coerce barely functioning elderly wealthy media mogul Laverne Fusselforth V to ask her to marry him, which may be more welcome news for the Commodore than anyone else, he who has wanted at least one of his daughters to marry into money to solve the family financial problems. However, another emotional connection is made between the Bellacourt and Fusselforth families which may upstage Lillian's wedding day. Lillian decides to take decisive action to ensure the day is hers, which includes making sure she becomes Mrs. Laverne Fusselforth V before it's too late. Meanwhile, Taft approaches Frederick with incriminating photographs of him with Beatrice in compromising positions in order to force him to resign the vice-presidency. Frederick takes some actions to get himself out of this problem, which only time and public reaction will tell if those actions work. One of those actions is to send Beatrice away so as not to become either a ... Written by Huggo

At Lillian and Laverne's wedding, a Bellacourt and Fusselforth do get married, but... Lillian feels the only way to deal emotionally with the aftermath of the ceremony is through drink. Beatrice, who is still at the abbey, wants to atone for her sins so that she can go to heaven. But she wants to go to the heaven party with her best friend, her sister Lillian, who Beatrice believes she can and has to save before Lillian can join her in the afterlife. Peepers gets his secret wish when Dodo returns to Bellacourt Manor to confront the Commodore and Celine, who are now awash with Fusselforth money. Their negotiations come down to a duel between the women, with the victor receiving all the spoils, although Dodo seems to be fixated primarily on one inconsequential holding of the Bellacourts. Victor and Albert have a discussion stemming from Blanche's delicate condition. And Garfield makes his first move in wooing Flobelle. Written by Huggo

With Garfield's help, Lillian has found her way to a bar to drown her sorrows. Beatrice is determined to find her sister and save her so that they can go to the heaven party together. Beatrice's actions don't come off quite the way she expects. Blanche goes into labor. She doesn't get as much help as she should in the matter with a manor full of servants and a physician for a husband. Hortense quickly discovers that the thought and the reality of being Mrs. Bertram Harrison Fusselforth VII are two totally different things. And Dodo makes one final request of Peepers before she leaves Bellacourt Manor for good and goes back to the abbey to live out the rest of her life, while Celine's affections for the Commodore ebb and flow with the coming and going of their fortunes. Written by Huggo