Charlie is plagued by a terribly and 'intimate' itchy rash (privates is inappropriate for him, as Alan points out). Now Jake is finally allowed to junior high school, Alan 'prepares' him by making him a target of ridicule, not bullying. Alas Alan and Charlie pull out too many horror stories, so Jake finds his own safe 'solution'. Charlie mocks Alan's constant cowardliness, stirring him to a single, soon regretted act of ill-considered bravery. Written by KGF Vissers

Alan walks into Evelyn's trap, so Charlie gets recruited as her male escort instead of spending the evening with his latest girlfriend Mitzi. However he enjoys learning how she works the high-end real estate market. Alan's night alone with Sharon goes wrong because of her near-suicidal self-image. It gets worse when Charlie breaks his promise not to date a top client's adulterous wife Margaret (but not for everyone). Written by KGF Vissers

Jake becomes an insufferable cellphone-junkie. Tired of meaningless floozies, Charlie decides after a particularly dumb one to double-date with Alan's friend. Charlie nearly freaks out learning that Linda is a municipal judge and law professor. Soon he can't resist the challenge, even if that sets him on a bumpy course for embarrassment. Written by KGF Vissers

Charlie is getting serious with Linda. But lately he seems to be seeing his ex-stalker, Rose. Has she returned from England, or is it his imagination?

Going through the bills, Alan panics because Charlie hasn't had a jingle commission in months and admits that business is slow and may not change. Therefore Alan accepts $1,000 a month as a test person for an experimental drug, despite a terrible list of side effects, and soon finds he's not in the control group. Charlie however keeps spending, especially on his latest girlfriend, Linda Harris. Linda brings along her preteen son Brandon, who proves quite a handful when he agrees to babysit. Charlie's child skills surprise everyone as he pours his artists creativity into the job, such as musical tunes to make the boy eat his food. Written by KGF Vissers

Alan refuses to let a 17 year-old mate drive Jake to a rock concert. Yet Judith takes their kid's side, which inspires him to sneak out the window. Alan is angry his bed mate judge Linda didn't tell him about a political award dinner, so he gets invited to attend her big day. Alas, Evelyn accidentally slips him not a tranquilizer but a hallucinogen. It becomes a weird night for everyone, including Jake, whom he tries to help sneaking back in, and Alan who catches them. Written by KGF Vissers

Alan's arrogant decision to place a cheap flashy bowl he bough on a prominent place is the last straw for Charlie, who reminds him of his place as the guest. Alan claims it wasn't a home until he and Jake moved in. He leaves, but has nowhere to go and lands with Evelyn. She doesn't want an audience while she plays love games with Teddy, so the unwilling hosts tries lies and worse to get the brothers back together. Written by KGF Vissers

Alan and Jake hardly take note of Charlie's success on TV as singing children idol 'Charlie Waffles', but a flow of fat checks awakes fraternal envy. Yet when manager Bob 'Artie' Pliskin waves the contract to make Charlie do the one thing he fears in public, performing live, Alan supports him, only to become jealous again seeing even a drunk Charlie's partially scatological repertoire scores with his adoring audience. Written by KGF Vissers

At ma Evelyn's engagement party, her fiancé Teddy makes Charlie promise not to hit on his foxy daughter, wicked luxury car salesperson Courtney. However that vixen successfully seduces and screws Charlie, for a change - and for a fair fortune. Written by KGF Vissers

Charlie's French latest conquest, Gabrielle, makes Alan hornily jealous. So he desperately calls Charity, who dumped him on his prom night, only to learn that was for Charlie. Jake also was just dumped. Charlie tastes sweat revenge when Gabby dumps Alan for him, but soon gets a bitter aftertaste, with worse to come. Written by KGF Vissers

Jake's overt shallowness is insufferable even for Charlie, and taking him along to a restaurant as diversion proves a painful mistake. Alan can only admit he and his latest bedmate have overstayed their sexual interest to his brother. He takes the master's advice on how to dump himself, aware of risks. He dodges them all except an accidental hot coffee pouring were it hurts most, but ends up the looser and feels hurt even worse when a surprising third party arrives. Written by KGF Vissers

Charlie feels as sick as a dog with a killer cold, but nobody comes to take care of him, until Rose returns, back from England. However she talks about eternal care, gives him her pills and clearly enjoys nursing him too much. After two weeks he feels transformed into a living doll. Alan feels miserable now he's the very last person Jake wants to spend time with, and doubts Charlie's suspicion. Written by KGF Vissers

Charlie predicts correctly Alan's recently divorced ex, Cynthia Sullivan, a friend of Judith, will even go for Alan. Alas the born looser can't help stressing about her remark that Judith considers Herb her best lover ever, even imagines that the couple are observing his performance. Written by KGF Vissers

Alan is through with disastrous 'romantic' dates, so he gets Charlie to find him a cheap/classy hooker. Jake can only get a date with young Milly by agreeing to double-date with her mother and her ex, the 'reluctant Charlie' who can't even remember Jess' name. Alan's lack of sexual self-confidence wrecks even Alexis' professional routine. Written by KGF Vissers

Alan points out Charlie's serial dating, daily, is getting excessive, even by his standards. Even bloody noses from cuckolded-hubby fists and a sorely overexerted scrotum can't slow Charlie down. Dr. Freeman diagnoses the cause as grief because his ex, Mia, whom he actually loved, is getting married. Charlie's response is trying to go get her back from the bridal suite. Written by KGF Vissers

Alan plays wedding planner for his mother, Evelyn and Teddy, who waves a prenuptial, while the Harper boys discover their mother is very rich too. Charlie finds himself comforting Teddy's daughter Courtney, which ends up most discomforting for the groom. He only managed to break up a 'stalking' expertly equipped by Rose. The ceremony goes ahead, scripted preposterously by the fifth-time bride. Written by KGF Vissers

While Evelyn still enjoys the wedding reception, Charlie finds her latest husband Teddy dead on bed, pants down and skull smashed. He and Alan have no choice but to inform their mother and call the police, which turns the feast into a murder investigation. The Harpers are treated as suspects, but ultimately learn neither Teddy nor his daughter Charlie's potential bride, were who they seemed to be. Written by KGF Vissers

Hoping for an earthquake to undo his Shakespeare assignment, Jake left it till the last weekend, without Taming the Shrew. Alan drags him to the bookstore, not that a copy has any chance of actually getting read, however hard he pushes his nitwit son. There Charlie meets and dates mature author Angie, an expert flatterer, who soon 'mothers' the neglected brothers. Written by KGF Vissers

Alan has a crush on Charlie's new older girlfriend, and Charlie discovers that he dated his girlfriend's son's fiancée. Meanwhile, Alan tries to get Jake to study for his algebra exam.